The Day I Met Wilma Proops
If you've just looked at the picture of the Magpie above I suggest you do as Wilma Proops would. Wilma taught me how to wave at a single magpie, say “good day” and spit over both shoulders to ensure the curse was removed. This was the first day I met her. I’d gone to see the Simone Martini in the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool (England) and when I came out saw her fall off her four inch stiletto Kurt Keigers and, not for the first time, expose her arse to numerous passers-by. It was rush hour so there were quite a few and, this being Liverpool, more than half had a cheeky if not ribald comment to make relating to Wilma’s arse. I’ll not repeat them here.
Of course, Wilma was drunk at the time - well it was after 5pm - but she wouldn’t have fallen over if she hadn’t had to pick up a penny she’d spotted on the pavement.
"See a penny pick it up
All day have good luck"
explained Wilma as I helped her to her feet.
Wilma is highly superstitious. Not only does she live by superstitions passed down through the generations but she has added some of her own. As mentioned she’ll wave, speak and spit when she sees a solitary magpie and go to any length to pick up a penny. In addition she’ll not walk under ladders but she’ll walk a mile if she thinks a black cat might cross her path.
The ones she’s made up include the luck you get if you see an “Hush Puppy Dog” (Basset Hound) and if you go under a bridge at the precise time a train goes over (or over a bridge at the precise time a train goes under) then you’re in for a lucky week. The list of the people I know (all apparently sensible), who’ll start running or speed up in their cars to gather this Wilma type luck, keeps growing. What’s the betting you’ll be doing the same after you read this? And, when you find you do have a lucky week (that’s seven days from the precise time you were in the right time at the right place) you’ll pass on the wisdom and so the superstition will grow.
“You Wanna Keep a Diary”
It was Wilma Proops who first advised me to start keeping a diary. She reckoned it would help me “get it off my chest” and that it wasn’t good for me to “keep ya bile pent up”. I had to agree but I waited until today to start it and decided to keep it publicly. I called Wilma to tell her and she agreed it was a great idea but wouldn’t be paying me for the plugs of her website. Ah well, you can’t win them all.
“Don’t Complain Get Even!”
Today’s moan concerns this nasty little woman who is a complete and utter fascist. She loves herself far too much to see her many shortcomings. I nearly told her as much but instead, as Wilma once suggested about another ****) I’m letting her get on with it, encouraging her to be herself and surreptitiously messing with her head. What fun!
I am not at liberty to tell you the full reasons for this stance…it is partly to give her enough rope but there’s more to it than that. Perhaps I’ll reveal it in a later Dear Diary – if I ever write another.
Today’s Online Activity
Today I have tweaked my Help with Aquarius Men website and looked at the Pisces, Aries and Taurus in the same series. I also wrote this. My invitation to the Google bash in Dublin came through and I booked my plane ticket and sent my RSVP. All online.
Today’s Offline Activity
I’ve done some but can’t be arsed to recount it (Wilma Proops taught me this attitude). Here's a picture of a Basset Hound and so, if you haven't taken Wilma Proops advice and waved, spoke and spat (because you aren't or won't admit you're superstitious) the good luck you get from looking at it will take away the bad luck you were treated to at the beginning of this article... of course, if you haven't read this far and you're not superstitious... ha!